San Francisco Dating Counseling for Men | Ron Burg, Ph.D.
You're professionally successful, but your dating life feels stuck. Maybe you keep attracting the wrong partners, struggle to get relationships off the ground, or don't know how to navigate in-person dating in a digital world. If this sounds like you, you’re not alone, and therapy can help.
As a seasoned clinical psychologist serving the Bay Area, I’ve helped hundreds of men break free from self-limiting patterns and build the relationships they want but aren’t sure how to create. Contact me today for a free consultation where we can discuss how I can help you.
Why men seek dating counseling
Struggling with dating doesn’t mean that something is wrong with you. Most of us learned our relationship patterns in childhood—patterns that made sense for how we were raised, but may not help you build the kinds of adult relationships you want. Here's what brings guys to my office:
Difficulty getting into relationships or keeping them
Repeatedly choosing partners who recreate old family dynamics
Anxiety about dating or putting yourself out there
Not knowing how to communicate needs or handle conflict
Sexual concerns that impact your relationships
Navigating open relationships or non-monogamy
Coming out or dating as a gay/bi man
Staying in relationships that don't work out of fear of never finding another one
These patterns aren't your fault, but they are within your power to change. With the right guidance, most men start seeing real shifts within a few months.
Meet your San Francisco dating therapist
Ron Burg, Ph.D.
I've spent 27 years helping men figure out why they keep getting stuck in the same relationship patterns. My approach isn't just sitting back and listening—we're going to identify what I call your "outdated operating system" (the patterns you learned early on) and upgrade it. I work with straight, gay, and bi guys from all backgrounds, and I bring a mix of extensive psychological training, lived experience, and gut instinct to help you get unstuck as efficiently as possible.
Credentials: Licensed Psychologist in California
Clientele: Adult men
Location: San Francisco, CA 94102 and Palo Alto, CA 94301
Virtual therapy?: Yes, across California
How dating therapy can help
You'll finally understand your patterns
Most guys have no clue why they keep ending up in the same frustrating situations. We'll figure out together what got wired in early on—maybe you're drawn to people who can't really show up for you, or you shut down when things get intense, or you can't speak up about what you need. Once you really see the pattern, it starts to lose its grip on you.
You'll heal the old wounds
If you grew up with parents who were unpredictable, harsh, or either emotionally checked out or overbearing, your nervous system learned to protect you in ways that now make adult relationships challenging. Through somatic and attachment work, we'll help you feel safe enough to open up and be vulnerable—not just intellectually, but in your real-world situations.
You'll learn how to actually connect
Knowing how to communicate honestly, work through conflict without freezing up or blowing up, and ask for what you need are all learnable skills. Many men were never taught these basics, but with time and effort, you can master them. Together, we'll work on developing the emotional intelligence and relational skills that help relationships thrive, whether you're single and dating or working on an existing relationship.
You'll get support for your specific challenges
Whatever you're dealing with—whether it's performance anxiety, navigating open relationships, coming out later in life, or just figuring out what you actually want in a partner—I've worked with hundreds of guys through these exact situations. I’m here to help you, too.
What to expect from the therapy process
Step 1: Start with a free intro meeting
We'll start with a free intro meeting so you can get a feel for what it's like to talk with me. I'll ask about what's going on and what you're hoping to work on. This gives us the chance to go over your questions and make sure we’re a good fit. Book yours here.
Step 2: Identify your goals
In our first full session, we'll nail down what you want to accomplish, and we'll start figuring out what's in your way. I work pretty quickly to pinpoint the core issues—most guys tell me just getting that clarity is worth the price of admission.
Step 3: Do the focused work together
We'll typically meet weekly or every other week. This isn't the kind of therapy where I sit back quietly while you talk—I'm fully engaged, asking questions and making connections. We're on the same team as we work toward your goals, and I'll use whatever tools from my training will help you get there.
Step 4: Transition to maintenance
Once you've made the core changes, we'll shift to meeting monthly, then just check-ins as needed. A lot of guys stay in touch for the occasional tune-up when life throws them a curveball, and that's totally fine.
Why work with a therapist who specializes in dating
Here's something you might not know: less than a quarter of therapists in the US are men. When it comes to relationship and dating work, that actually matters. Here’s why my clients choose me.
I understand male psychology from the inside—I get you without you having to explain everything.
A lot of guys find it easier to talk about sex, desire, and relationship fears with another man who gets it.
I've spent nearly three decades focusing specifically on what makes men tick in relationships.
Guys who've worked with other therapists often tell me my approach is different—more direct, more interactive, and faster.
Gay and bi men often feel more comfortable discussing sexuality and relationships with someone who gets them.
Therapy with me is having a trusted guide to navigate dating using proven tools and real-world knowledge. You want someone who's made this journey many times before and knows the terrain.
FAQs about dating therapy
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Honestly, I don't draw a hard line between the two—what I do is a blend of both. Dating coaches usually focus on strategies and techniques, while therapists dig into deeper patterns. I bring both skillsets. Together, we'll work on the underlying emotional blocks that keep tripping you up, while also building practical skills you can use on your next date or in your current relationship.
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No, I now focus exclusively on individual work with men, although I have worked with a lot of couples earlier in my career. We'll definitely talk about your relationships and how you show up in them, but the sessions are about your personal growth. If you're looking for couples therapy, I'm happy to point you toward some great colleagues who specialize in that work.
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Not at all. I work with plenty of single guys who are frustrated with dating, as well as men who are in relationships but struggling. The work is actually pretty similar either way: we're addressing what's getting in your way internally. Whether you're trying to find the right partner or improve things with someone you're already seeing, we'll tackle the root causes together.
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It really depends on what you're dealing with, but most guys notice meaningful changes within 3-6 months of consistent work. I've designed my approach to move things along efficiently. I recognize that therapy isn't cheap, and you deserve to see results as quickly as possible. We'll set concrete goals from day one and track how we're doing along the way.